Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

Three Times Before You Have Felt The Terror, Known The Madness, Lived The Horror. But This Is The One You've Been Screaming For.

Jason, presumed dead of the wounds inflicted on him at the end of Friday the 13th 3, is taken to the morgue. But Jason isn't dead, he's just biding his time. He escapes from the morgue, killing an attendant and a nurse, and makes his way back towards Crystal Lake.

Meanwhile, six teenagers have rented a cabin on the lake across from another cabin which is occupied by the Jarvis family including Trish, and her younger brother, Tommy the super-nerd. While the new neighbours party hard and enjoy their new wilderness surrounding, little to they realize they had better live it up quick, while they still have time to live.

Jason soon arrives, seemingly even stronger and angrier than before, to go on another one of his murderous rampages. Soon only Trish and Tommy remain to stop Jason, supposedly once and for all.

The Final Chapter was meant to be the end of the line for the Friday the 13th series, as we all know, it wasn't, but they did a pretty good job of letting you think it would be based on what happens to Jason at the end. Still, another fairly solid sequel.

Jason is great in this one once again in this movie. Here is where the viewer starts to get the distinct impression that this guy isn't just some psychotic killer with a taste for revenge, he is actually a practically unstoppable undead killing machine. As for the other characters, some of them are par for the course, others are notably obnoxious. On the other hand, the script would appear to suggest that the obnoxious ones were meant to be that way, and they do a fine job at it. Ultimately it just makes Jason's arrival and subsequent slicing up of these twits all the better.

Jason's demise at the hands of the boy, Tommy Jarvis, adds an eerie twist to the conclusion of the film, suggesting that while Jason is "dead", a new villain may be in the making. Despite this, they found a way to bring Jason back... I guess Paramout found it a bit tricky to lay such a successful (and no doubt profitable) series to rest so quickly.

4.5 deadfucks out of 5
Rated 18A for violence/gore, sexual content, nudity, language.


Watch the The Final Chapter trailer.

City of the Living Dead (1980)

And the dead shall rise and walk the earth!

A seance brings forth a traumatic vision of a priest hanging himself, and sends one of the participants into convulsions and presumed death. The victim, Mary, is buried the following day only to awaken and be saved from her entombed coffin in the nick of time by local journalist Peter Bell. But this is just where the strangeness begins. A series of gruesome apparitions and happenings, followed by vicious zombie attacks, lead to the demise of the towns residents one by one. The priests suicide has opened the gates of hell, and it seems that everyone is doomed.

City of the Living Dead is a great, although quite abstract, movie. It is very difficult to give a detailed summary of the films plot because it both starts and ends quite abruptly, with little explanation. It is largely composed of a series of horrifying events all seemingly unrelated, but all connected to the apocalyptic situation caused somehow by this priests death.

If you can get past the fact that the film comes off as quite abstract and artsy, it is really a cool movie. It mixes zombies with hauntings in a sort of zombie/ghost movie. It contains some extremely graphic scenes, most famously the scene in which a young woman's eyes begin to bleed, followed by her vomiting up her internal organs. Rumour has it that the organs were actually animal organs purchased from a butcher and that they had to film the scene over the course of numerous takes as she vomited up one after another. Can't help but feel a bit sorry for the actor (Daniela Doria) who had to do this, but it sure makes for a grotesque and memorable scene. The director, Lucio Fulci, is known for his strange and grisly horror films, of which City of the Living Dead is a typical example.

A film well worth checking out. May also be found under the titles "The Gates of Hell", "Twilight of the Dead", "City of the Dead", and various other names in other countries.

3.5 lathes through the brain out of 5
Rated 18A for severe violence and gore, frightening scenes.


Watch the City of the Living Dead trailer.

Shock Waves (1977)

Once They Were Almost Human! Beneath the living... Beyond the dead... From the depths of Hell's Ocean! The Deep End of Horror!

The passengers and crew of a shipwrecked yacht stumble upon a reclusive former SS commander on a mysterious Caribbean island. Soon, to their horror, they find out he is not alone. In fact, he is accompanied by a contingent of Nazi-zombie super soldiers who set upon the bewildered, stranded, Americans. The fight is on!

Shock Waves stands apart from more well known zombie films on several counts. For one thing, these zombies aren't cannibalistic flesh eaters in the least, but rather undead super soldiers. Rather than decayed corpses moaning, we have what looks more like a bunch of undead goggle-wearing bone heads, fairly soberly doing their dirty deeds. Most of the violence is suggested rather than shown. As for the non-zombie characters, most of them are so obnoxious and moronic that if it weren't for the fact that he zombies are nazi's, it would be hard to gauge which side to root for. Still, a gang of undead nazi soldiers goose-stepping out of the water ought to be enough to send a shiver down any rational persons spine, and rally them in favour of even the most irritating of "heroes".

But what Shock Waves does have going for it is that it's unique. It was different from every other zombie movie to date and it kick-started the nazi-zombie sub-genre. It uses the eeriness of its setting, its stoic undead villains, and its droning synthesizer sound track to keep the viewer engaged and creeped out in lieu of gore, acting, budget, and effects.Better than it initially appears to be, worth a watch.

3 water zombies out of 5
Rated PG-13 for violence, and language.

Watch the Shock Waves trailer.

Season of the Witch (1972)

Every night is Halloween

Joan and Jack lived an ordinary life in an ordinary American suburb with their 19 year old daughter, Nikki. Jack, a successful business man, frequently left town on long business trips and, when home, neglected and ignored Joan, who grew increasingly bored and dissatisfied with her life as a house wife.

One day Joan learns of a new woman in her neighborhood, Marion Hamilton, who is said to practice witchcraft. Excited by the prospect of something new and different to help her cope with her depressing life, Joan and her friend Shirley visit Marion and become fascinated with her beliefs and practices.

Soon Joan begins practicing witchcraft herself, and believes herself to be on the way to becoming a true witch. But in her loneliness and separation from the outside world, the lines between fantasy and reality become increasingly blurred. She begins to have terrifying nightmares and grow concerned that she has awakened evil spirits, or is it all in her head? Joan's adventure into mysticism is about to end with tragic results.

Season of the Witch is not what most horror fans will think of when George A. Romero's name is mentioned. But despite its lack of the living dead, Season of the Witch is yet another great film by the infamous director.

Also known by the alternate names, including "Hungry Wives", and "Jack's Wife", Season of the Witch is a strange, surreal feeling little film which keeps you wondering whether Joan has simply lost it, or whether she has accidentally conjured up her own doom, right up until the films depressing final scene.

Despite being low budget, and seemingly largely forgotten about, Season of the Witch is actually an entertaining film worth checking out, especially for Romero fans and those who enjoy psychological thriller/horror movies.

4 creepy mirrors out of 5
Rated 18A for frightening scenes, violence, nudity, sexual content, drug use, language.

Watch the Season of the Witch trailer.

Friday the 13th 3: 3D (1982)

A new dimension in terror...

Jason survived the machete attack inflicted upon him by Ginny, the lone survivor of F13-2, and he's back for more. After slashing his way through a general store to get some new clothes, the ever fashion-conscious Jason Voorhees makes his way to a nearby cabin, still on Crystal Lake, where Chris Higgins has invited her friends for a weekend of camping.

While the group settles in at the cabin, and Jason lurks menacingly, Shelly and Catherine (two of Chris's friend) decide to make a trip into town, where they have a run in with a small, racially stereotyped, biker gang. They escape unscathed, although the same can't be said for their car. Too bad for them Jason is about to make them wished they'd just taken their chances with the bikers instead. Too bad for the bikers, they decide to follow them and try to get revenge.

Jason's blood-thirsty 3D rampage then begins as he uses all manner of grisly deeds to do away with sex crazed teenagers, pot smoking hippies, and others who intrude upon his sacred lake-front property. As usual, a lone female character (Chris) uses her brain (a task that seems to be particularly challenging for the other characters in the film) and kills Jason off, or so it seems. Yet, the viewer is left with the distinct feeling that things may not be over and done with on Crystal Lake...

F13-3 is notable for a few things. First, it introduces Jason's famous hockey mask. Second, it was the first slasher film in 3D. It was also Paramount's first 3D film. Granted, it's no Avatar, and some of the 3D stuff is just silly, but it's still kind of cool. Also, Jason, played in this film by Richard Brooker, takes on a slightly different character in this film. He looks bigger and meaner, and he's a bit more vicious. He seems to be enjoying himself. Another solid film for the Friday the 13th series.

4.5 3D pop-out eyeballs out of 5
Rated R for violence/gore, frightening scenes, language, drug use, sexual content, and very brief nudity.

Watch the Friday the 13th 3: 3D trailer.

Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)

The King vs. the King of the Dead

Sebastian (Bruce Campbell), and Jack (Ossie Davis) are two delusional elderly care centre patients. Sebastian, an Elvis impersonator, believes himself to be the real deal (or is he?). Jack, on the other hand, is convinced that he is John F. Kennedy and that Lyndon Johnson has dyed his skin, taken part of his brain, and placed him in the home.

When greater than usual numbers of residents pass away everyone else writes it off as normal care home attrition, but Sebastian and Jack grow suspicious that something is amiss. Their fears are confirmed when Sebastian is attacked by an oversized cockroach and, Jack, by an Egyptian mummy in cowboy getup, which Sebastian dubs “Bubba Ho-Tep”, roughly translating to "Redneck Pharaoh".

It turns out that the mummy was part of a display stolen from a nearby museum and then lost in the creek by the centre when a storm hit, causing the thieves to crash their van. It then became reanimated and escaped. They discover that the mummy feeds on human souls, which he then proceeds to fire down the visitors toilet. Naturally deciding that this ghoul using their home as a smorgasbord is an untenable situation for them, and realizing that nobody would take their story seriously, they decide it is up to them to fight the creature themselves.

Bubba Ho-Tep is a horror-comedy like no other. It's not every day that you get to see Elvis and a black JFK take on a hillbilly mummy at a care home using an electric wheelchair and a walker. Bruce Campbell, who is obviously in his element in a picture like this, is fantastic, and Ossie Davis is at least as funny as "JFK". It's never really explained why exactly this mummy is dressed in cowboy gear (maybe he just wanted to fit in while in Texas), but by the time you wrap your head around the over-all premise of this movie, a little thing like that shouldn't cause you to bat and eyelash. 

Essentially, that's the great thing about thing movie; it is ridiculous and out-there enough that it feels like anything goes, yet it manages to carry forward a plot which includes not only tongue-in-cheek humour, but also suspense, and even a mild scare or two. It also acts as a commentary on the too-often horrendous and neglectful treatment of seniors in our society. 

4.5 hieroglyphic toilet graffiti's out of 5

Rated 18A for language, some sexual content and brief violent images.

Watch the Bubba Ho-Tep trailer. 

Friday the 13th 2 (1981)

The body count continues...

Two months after the killing spree at Camp Crystal Lake, aka "Camp Blood", the lone survivor is mysteriously murdered in her home. Five years pass by, the camp is condemned and trespassing into the area is strictly forbidden. Then a man by the name of Paul Holt makes the unwise decision to open a new Counselor Training Centre at Packanack Lodge, only a short walk from Camp Crystal Lake... and on the very same lake.

"Crazy Ralph" warns once again of the impending doom that faces all those who go to Crystal Lake. Once again the poor old fart is ignored, then Jason makes sure he won't be doing anymore warning in what is one of his first kills of the movie. Yes, that's right, Jason makes his initial appearance as a slasher super-villain though it is without his trademark hockey mask which, for the time being, is replaced with a much less fashionable gunny sack.

He slices and dices his way through the camp counselors, all without any of them sorting out the fact that the other has been murdered or, at least, not for long enough to tell anyone before they become the next victim. Jason also expands on his mothers arsenal, adding his classic machete, a hammer, a pitch fork, barbed wire, and other implements. Finally Paul, and his girlfriend Ginny, are left to fight Jason in hopes of being the only two survivors of his rampage.  

Friday the 13th 2 is arguably just as great as the original, or better due to the arrival of Jason on the scene. It carries on the story right from where the first film left off, even giving us a somewhat lengthier than necessary flashback to the first film to bring us up to where part 2 begins. It remains suspenseful, gory, and serious in tone unlike the increasingly cheese-ball sequels that came later in which primarily just the gore remained.The work of make up artist extraordinaire, Tom Savini, brings the gore to life and provides an extremely gruesome looking Jason to match that of the first film, for the brief scene in which is actually visible.

Ultimately, F13-2 leaves you wanting more, and makes it blatantly obvious by the end that more is yet to come, which is great because this classic series is still several films away from dissapointment!

5 decaying-head shrines out of 5
Rated 18A for violence/gore, nudity/sexual content, language, frightening scenes.  


Watch the Friday the 13th 2 trailer.

Friday the 13th (1980)

On Friday The 13th, They Began To Die Horribly, One......By One.

Two years after a young boy named Jason drowned at Camp Crystal Lake, two camp counselors were murdered. The killer was never found and the camp was closed. Several years later Steve Christy, a goofy looking mustache man without the common decency to wear a shirt, decides to re-open the camp.

Thus he hires several young camp counselors to come help him fix up the old camp in preparation for opening. But the teens discover that someone else has different plans as they are killed off one after another by an unknown assailant using a hunting knife and an axe. Guess they should have listened to Ralph, the town crazy, who warned them they'd be "doomed".

Soon only Alice (Adrienne King) remains and she is confronted by the killer who explains the reasons for her rampage. It doesn't count as a spoiler for me to say who it is because this movie is 30 years old and one of the best known horror movies in history so you should know already, it isn't Jason Voorhees. Believe it or not, Jason doesn't turn up as the primary villain until the second movie and doesn't don his famous hockey mask till the third one, although that still gave him numerous additional sequels with which to make that mask a pop culture icon. As it turns out, Jason's mom is the slasher this time around, driven mad by the loss of her son which she blames on camp counselors who failed to save her son from drowning in Camp Crystal Lake.

What ensues is a battle to the death between Mrs. Voorhees, and Alice. As much as this movie is awesome, this bit of the movie is a little drawn out. How many times does Alice need to knock her attacked down and run away before she realizes that she has to finish the job or else crazy old Mrs. Voorhees will just keep on coming? Either way the job gets done and Alice survives, allowing for her appearance in the impending sequel.

Friday the 13th was beaten to the punch in terms of launching the the slasher genre by earlier films like Black Christmas and Halloween, but its arrival undoubtedly added to, and helped to propel, the sub-genre further into popularity. It undoubtedly one-upped its predecessors on the gore factor, and held on to the suspense that was gradually lost by most of those in the droves of slasher flicks to follow it. If not the best, it is definitely one of the best of its series and puts the recent attempt at a remake to shame. Truly a classic.

5 reasons to look under your bed out of 5
Rated R for violence/gore, sexual content, nudity, frightening scenes. 


Watch the Friday the 13th trailer.

Return of the Living Dead 2 (1988)

Just when you thought it was safe to be dead.

A boy named Jesse attempts to join a club run by two older boys, one of whom seems to believe he is some sort of 1950's gangster based on how he talks. When Jesse's initiation into the group goes awry, the boys chase him down to give him clobbering but he hides under a bridge where their inane behavior is interrupted by the discovery of some mysterious canisters marker "Department of Army" (whatever that is).

Jesse proposes calling the army up to let them know that their lost property has been found, but his "friends" warn him not to tell anyone and lock him up in a building at the graveyard across the street just to be sure.

Luckily for him, he manages to escape when a couple of grave robbers turn up and he is able to run away through the open door. Meanwhile, the other two kids make the foolhardy decision to open one of the canisters which turns out to contain a zombie and a healthy dose of Trioxin, the gas which is responsible for reanimating the dead in the original film. 


Of course the gas quickly travels out from under the bridge and into the near by graveyard both infecting all living people it comes in contact with, and reanimating all deceased ones as well.

Return of the Living Dead 2 is much like the original Return of the Living Dead in that it is a purposely cheesy, semi-comedic zombie movie wherein acting, plot, and being scary are not really on the table. Return of the Living Dead is notable for being behind the popularization of cliche of zombies who say "braaaiiinnss!" when approaching their victims and even, at time, make wisecracks. They also look hilarious, especially the first one, which escapes from the canister opened by the kids and the one with the head in the bag. Completely goofy and ridiculous. One can only presume this is on purpose.

The best acting in the movie is from the main character, Jesse, played by Michael Kenworthy, whose career seems to have ended later that year with a role in the remake of The Blob. Most of the rest is average, some of it is painful to watch. There are a chuckle-worthy scenes for sure, some of which were actually meant to be that way. The gore is actually quite mild and some of it even happens off screen. If you are looking for a good starter zombie movie for someone who is a bit squeamish or easily spooked, this is probably a good choice. Otherwise, you may get a bit bored of the endless chase scenes, largely uneventful encounters with zombies, and general buffoonery.

This series, was blatantly marketed from the start to be a set of sequels to George A. Romero's Night of the Living Dead despite actually not being connected in the slightest. And while this second movie in the Return of the Living Dead series is a bit of a bore, the real sequel to Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, is one of the greatest zombie films of all time. So, a bit of a difference to say the least. This series does, however, actually has a couple somewhat watchable films in it. This isn't really one of them.

1.5 zombie face punches out of 5
Rated 18A/R for violence.


Watch the Return of the Living Dead 2 trailer.

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Dementia 13 (1963)

The Most Terrifying Screen Experience Of Your Life! A Brand New Concept in Motion Picture Shock! 

A schemer by the name of Louise Haloran argues with her husband over his mothers Will which, to her dismay, designates her fortune to charity in the name of a mysterious deceased daughter named Kathleen. Her husband, John, informs her that if he dies before she does, she won't be entitled to a red cent anyhow. He then promptly proceeds to have a heart attack and kick the bucket.

Lousie quickly invites herself for a visit at the families castle in Ireland while her husband is "away on business". Her intent is to ingratiate herself with her deceased husbands mother so as to weasel her way into the Will before it becomes known that John is no more.

Shortly after her arrival, Lousie starts to notice that things are a bit odd around the castle. In particular, the family carries out a morbid ceremony to mark the anniversary of the mysterious Kathleen's death in a freak drowning accident. Realizing that old John's mother is intensely superstitious and gullible, Louise decides to create the appearance that Kathleen is trying to communicate from beyond the grave so that she can pose as a bridge between the distraught mother and her deceased daughter and thereby secure her share of the fortune.

This plan doesn't work out as well as Lousie had hoped, and soon some of the inhabitants of the castle are being killed while strange finding seem to link the deaths in some way to Kathleen. The family doctor, Justin Caleb, starts to investigate the strange happenings in the hopes of uncovering the truth behind Kathleen's death and behind the new spat of murders, before another victim is claimed.

Dementia 13 was directed by Francis Ford Coppola, best known for the Godfather trilogy. It came out three years after the seminal film Psycho, and brought horror movies perhaps one step closer to the new sub-genre of slasher flicks, which wouldn't truly break out until the 1970's.

While reviews were mixed of Dementia 13 upon its release, it is, in retrospect, a great film and an important piece of horror movie history. The movie was particularly criticized for its confusing story line, which is a fair criticism although this does add to the general feeling of confusion which in its own way makes the movie more effective when paired with spooky atmosphere and imagery, and a side of gore. Dementia 13 is a great horror/mystery, and a classic amongst proto-slasher films of the 60's and early 70's. Well worth a watch.

4.5 ill fated evening swims out of 5
Unrated. Contains violence, frightening scenes.

Watch the Dementia 13 trailer.


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Zombie Strippers (2008)

They'll dance for a fee, but devour you for free.

Zombie Strippers takes place in an alternate reality which is way scarier than zombies. In this alternate world, George W. Bush has been elected to his fourth term in office, with Arnold Schwarzenegger as his Vice President. He has managed to start wars not just in Iraq and Afghanistan, but also in Syria, Lebanon, Venezuela, France, Canada, and Alaska amongst others.

As part of their maniacal attempt to rule the world, the regime develops a virus which reanimates the dead, hoping to turn them into super soldiers for use against their numerous enemies. Predictably, the virus gets out when the zombies get out of control and bite a soldier who flees the base knowing that he will be killed if his infection is discovered.

The escaped soldier finds himself in an illegal strip club where he ends up spreading the virus to one of the women working there, Kat, who is played by Jenna Jameson. Contrary to the commonly held convention that zombies are slow and decrepit, this virus creates zombies with superhuman speed and agility. The undead strippers are popular with the slovenly club customers and, therefore, the despicable club owner, who is played excellently by Robert Englund of Freddy Krueger fame. But there is a hitch.

Much like usual zombies, it turns out zombie strippers like to eat live human flesh. Soon things spiral out of control as additional dancers and patrons get chomped and turn into yet more zombies.

Zombie Strippers is one of those movies that is so terrible and so great at the same time. On the one hand, it is ridiculous to the extreme, and to the point of obnoxiousness at times. Furthermore, perhaps unsurprisingly given the title, it objectifies women at every turn, and although ultimately the perpetrators of sexist behavior in the film all get their just desserts by the end, all the strippers end up dead too, so its hardly much retribution. At the same time there is a very open, obvious, and unhidden anti-Bush, anti-war message here criticizing the entire lunacy of the "war on terror".

The gore is pretty nasty at times and is well done. The acting actually wasn't bad either. Robert Englund, obviously used to playing evil characters, did a great job as the vile, misogynist, self-serving club owner. For that matter, most of the cast was decent with the exception of some of the soldiers whose roles were relatively small anyhow. The movie also has a humorous side to it. Lot's of irony and wise cracks. Aside from that, this movie contains little more than numerous and unnecessarily lengthy dance scenes and a really stupid battle scene between two rival strippers towards the end which involves ping pong balls. Ultimately, when you make the decision to spend time watching a movie called Zombie Strippers, you shouldn't be too surprised with what you get.

2 ping pong balls out of 5
Rated 18A/R for strong violence and gore, sexuality/nudity and language.

Watch the Zombie Strippers trailer. 


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Horrors of Spider Island (1960)

Blood-Curdling! Hair-Raising! Spine-Chilling!

Gary, his girlfriend Georgia, and a group of female dancers, crash land near a deserted island after their plane sets on fire. Miraculously, they don't all die a horrendous death and most of them are in fact completely unscathed.

They explore the island and find a cabin containing a containing a corpse in a giant web. They are horrified, for a couple minutes at least, but then go on to pursue other interests such as wandering around in their underwear and, in one case at least, making out with Gary. Naturally, the cheating cad gets caught in the act by Georgia and, after a nasty argument, storms off into the forest in a huff.

While out and about he gets bitten by a radioactive spider which transforms him into some kind of half man/half spider mutant. In reality, however, he looks like a grotesquely hairy caveman with a pair of costume shop glue-in vampire fangs and rubber monster gloves. He then goes on to spend most of the remainder of the film lurking about the forest, hiding in a tree, and making only one kill until most of the way through the show.

Meanwhile, the women are getting along quite alright without him, spending most of their time mud wrestling, skinny dipping, and just being generally scantily-clad. Then a boat shows up containing the co-workers of the dead guy in the web. No longer being stranded, by virtue of having a boat, you would think the lot of them would be about ready to head home. But instead they decide to have a sexy dance party first and make out with the guys from the boat a bit. Finally Gary springs into action, bringing small amounts of unexciting violence down upon them.

 Blood-curdling, hair-raising, and spine-chilling, are not the phrases I would use to describe this movie. Unfortunately, eye-closing, snore-inducing, and chuckle-inciting, would be fairer tag lines as Horrors of Spider Island is lacking in several departments including; horror, suspense, gore, and plot. The two exceptions I can fathom would be if A: you are severely arachnophobic, in which case there is a spider in the movie which bites Gary... but it is basically the funniest looking, cutest spider you will ever be likely to see. Or, B: if you are petrified of scantily-clad young women, in which case do not view this film at any cost!

0.5 giant spider webs out of 5
Unrated. Contains nudity, sexual content, mild violence.

Watch the Horrors of Spider Island trailer.

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Burial Ground (1981)

When the moon turns red, the dead shall rise! 

A bunch of seemingly inbred upper-class twits travels to a secluded old mansion for a summer holiday. They are soon under siege by hordes of zombies who look like peasants who have risen from the dead to wreak vengeance upon their oppressors. In some cases, they even use farming implements against their prey. Meanwhile their snooty victims struggle ineptly to survive and ultimately get what they have coming to them. 

Burial Ground, aka The Nights of Terror, aka Zombi 3, is a fantastic living dead gore fest by Italian director Andrea Bianchi. The zombies are really cool and different looking, even though during the close ups you can sometimes very easily see where the make up starts and the actor beneath begins.

The gore is plentiful and inordinately gruesome at times. Despite this, probably the grossest and most disturbing thing in the movie is the incest theme between two of the characters rather than any of the nasty gore and violence.

Pretty much all the non-zombie characters are easily despised which means you can just sit back and watch gleefully as they get munched one by one. There's also an obvious underlying commentary on class in that a bunch of peasant zombies are chewing up a bunch of aristocratic knobs for the entire movie. Grisly, unique, and fun. One of my favourites zombie flicks to date.

4.5 nipple biters out of 5
Rated 18A/Unrated. Contains nudity, sexual content, incestuous themes, violence/gore.

Watch the Burial Ground trailer.

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Night of the Living Dead (1968)

They won't stay dead!

Barbara finds herself in perhaps the least fortunate of places, a graveyard, on the very day when for reasons unknown, the dead rise from their graves in search of warm human flesh. She manages to escape to a house out in the country side where she meets Ben, another zombie survivor. They soon find out that a family, the Coopers, are hiding out in the basement with a young couple named Tom and Judy. Now this unlikely group of allies must try to work together to fend of hordes of the living dead who are intent upon devouring whatever live flesh they can get their teeth into.

In 1968, the modern zombie film was born thanks to George A. Romero, and this film. To this day, the greatness of Romero's films remains unsurpassed. A hallmark of his work, starting with Night of the Living Dead, was his mixture of social and political commentary with horror. It was because of this that his film was referred to by  historian Adam Rockoff as "subversive on many levels." In the case of Night of the Living Dead, Romero's "subversiveness" included the films implied criticism of 1960's American society, as well as the horrendous war in Vietnam which was still raging at the time of the films release. It also took on patriarchy and racism by placing a woman and a black man as the films brave heroes who worked together to survive, which was contrasted by the slightly villainous, cowardly, individualistic, and abusive conservative white male head of the Cooper family. The film was also attacked by critics of the day for its graphic content which was beyond anything that mainstream audiences had yet seen on the big screen.

Night of the Living Dead kicked off Romero's "Dead series" which now includes six films. The film was never copyrighted, leading to numerous unauthorized and illegitimate "sequels" and "remakes". Tom Savini made an excellent remake of Night of the Living Dead with Romero's blessings in 1990, but the Return of the Living Dead series was also originally intended to act as a series of sequels to Night of the Living Dead despite having no actual connection to the series or to Romero... and despite being far inferior to the legitimate series directed by Romero himself.

5 They're coming for you Barbara's out of 5
Rated 18A/R for violence/gore, brief nudity, mild profanity.

Watch the Night of the Living Dead trailer.

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The Wizard of Gore (1970)

Is it magic? Or wholesale slaughter?

A magician by the name of Montag puts on an unusual illusion show wherein female volunteers from the audience are brought on stage and appear to be horribly mutilated with swords, chainsaws, drills, and the like. When the illusion is over, the women walk off the stage quite normally.

Not all is well, however, as the women are later found murdered in the same way they were killed on stage. A couple, Jack and Sherry, who have been attending some of the shows, start to get wise to Montags twisted game but nothing can be pinned on him because the whole audience saw the women leave the show in tact. Somehow the illusion turns out to be not the killing, but the period of living between being killed on stage and being found murdered. Montag really must be some kind of wizard! Jack and Sherry are left to try to stop Montag before he strikes again.

The Wizard of Gore is another one of those movies where everything else (i.e. the plot) kind of just serves as filler between graphic murder scenes. The scenes are actually quite grisly if unconvincing, and made all the more realistic looking by the fact that they used two sheep carcass as the source of most of their props. In other words, the blood and guts are real... just not human. Apparently another popular prop on the set of Wizard of Gore was condoms filled with blood which could then be placed amongst the guts presumably to provide the gushed of blood they needed for extra effect. If you are looking for a gore fest, here it is. If you are looking for a movie with a plot, character development, or for that matter any scenes that are actually scary... look elsewhere.

1.5 popping eyeballs out of 5
Not rated. Contains violence/gore, and sexual content.

Watch the Wizard of Gore trailer.

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King Kong (1933)

A monster of creations dawn breaks loose in our world today!

Film maker Carl Denham is out to make a film like no one has ever seen before. He obtains a map to a mysterious, hidden, "Skull Island" and sets sail with cast and crew in tow. His entourage includes a down and out starlet by the name of Ann Darrow, and adventurer Jack Driscoll, both of whom fall for each other quickly and just in time for the most horrifying experience of their lives.

When they land on the island they find themselves assailed by everything from dinosaurs to angry locals and, of course, a giant ape by the name of Kong. After an extensive adventure, Kong is captured and whisked off to New York where Denham hopes to exploit him for his own profit. This leads to one of the most iconic moments in cinema history when Kong escapes, rampages through the streets of New York, and climbs the Empire State Building, taking Ann Darrow, with whom he has fallen in love, with him. The rest is movie history.

King Kong definitely carries with it some of the stamps of its time. The film came out during the Great Depression and the theme of being down and out is ever present. The characters have one thing in common when they get on the boat to Skull Island; they all all looking for a way to get ahead and for an adventure to take them away from their troubled lives. Putting aside the obvious racist depiction of the the Island natives and of the ships Asian cook, the film does carry some progressive undertones as well. Arguably, an environmentalist message could be extrapolated about the perils of humanities unbridled exploitation of nature and animals. This theme was played up significantly in the first King Kong remake in 1976.

Regardless, King Kong is a classic, and rightfully so. It's a great movie which was way ahead of its times. The fantastic stop motion work of Willis O'Brien may look rickety and clunky to those who are today accustomed to high tech computer generated graphics, but for its time it was advanced and one of the first times audiences had seen such spectacles as dinosaurs and giant monsters on the big screen. The biggest shame about this movie is that some scenes were cut by the censors and ultimately lost, possibly forever, because they considered them too "disturbing". Among these is the insect pit scene which is present in the 2005 remake of King Kong by Peter Jackson. But even with the limitations of its time, and the having survived at the ignorant hands of the puritanical censors, King Kong remains one of the greatest monster movies of all time.

5 giant apes out of 5
Rated PG/not rated. Contains mild violence.


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Evil Dead (1981)

Can they be stopped?

Ash takes his girlfriend and a group of friends out camping for the weekend at a secluded, run down, cabin in the woods. They find an old recording in the basement of the cabin and decide to check it out. It turns out to be from a professor who explains that he has uncovered a Babylonian/Sumerian text; The Book of the Dead. He goes on to read some passages from the book which they decide to listen to despite the protests of one of the campers, Cheryl. Just as the incantation reaches its climax a tree comes smashing through the kitchen window. This is far from the end of their bad luck.

Of course it turns out that the incantation has freed some demonic spirits from their slumber. They first take form through the forests surrounding the cabin. Cheryl unwisely follows the horror movie cliche by going alone in the dark to check out a suspicious sound in the woods. There she is attacked and raped by some trees in a highly controversial scene. Through this, the demonic spirit is transmitted to her. Later she becomes possessed and transforms into a hideous ghoul who attacks her fellow cabin mates eventually leaving Ash to fend for himself against a legion of demons who apparently want to eat his soul. 

Evil Dead is undeniably one of the greatest horror films of all time.  Sure, the acting is horrible. Sure, its cheesy. Sure, Ash has a uni-brow for some reason and can't seem to stop getting trapped under falling bookcases. But it's still a fantastic movie. It blows every other demon related movie of its kind out of the water in terms of fun, gore, and all around awesomeness. On top of that, it's actually pretty scary unlike it's sequels; Evil Dead 2, and Army of Darkness, both of which are great films but inferior to the original. You've got to love the wonderful make up work, the use of claymation, and... is that porridge coming out of that demon towards the end?

5 pencils to the ankle out of 5

Rated R/NC-17 for substantial graphic horror violence and gore.

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Shallow Ground (2004)

Fear your past... it will find you.

One year ago, a young woman was brutally murdered in the woods near a small, rural community. The crime went unsolved. Now a naked teenage boy covered from head to toe in blood inexplicably turns up at the office of local Sheriff Jack Sheppard with a hunting knife in hand. The Sheriff and his officers presume the boy may be the killer they have been searching for and they incarcerate him while they investigate. To their horror, they find that the blood is from multiple human beings. Furthermore, strange supernatural happenings have begun to occur since the boys arrival. Sheriff Sheppard is forced to overcome his own personal demons and seek out the identity of the boy and of his potential victims. But his search leads him to an unexpected and horrifying discovery, and to bloody justice for the one who is truly responsible for the deaths.

Shallow Ground is a little known great among recent psychological horror/slasher flicks which blends horror, mystery and suspense. It stands as an example of how relatively low budget independent horror flicks can succeed at being much more than cheesy snore fests if done correctly.

4.5 odd things to start a collection of out of 5
Rated 18A/R for strong violence and gore, nudity and some language.

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Shaun of the Dead (2004)

It's just one of those days when you're feeling a little...dead.

Shaun's efforts to win back the love of his life, Liz, and improve his dull and repetitive life are rudely interrupted when the dead take to getting up and doing their best to eat any living human in sight. Soon Shaun and Liz, with friends Ed, Dianne, David, and Shaun's mum, are partaking in a hilarious battle for survival.


Shaun of the Dead isn't the only zombie movie out there with major comedic value. Many zombie movies through the years have had a funny streak through them in one way or another. But this one seems to have been the first one specifically made as a comedy movie with zombies rather than a zombie movie with comedy. Fantastic performances from a great cast further strengthen the film's cleverly written script and screenplay.

Not only is Shaun of the Dead a great movie, it's immense success probably deserves at least some thanks for other great zombie comedies in recent years such as Fido (2006), and Zombie Land (2009), to name a couple. You've got red on you.

5 Winchesters out of 5
Rated 18A/R for zombie violence/gore, and language.

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Black Christmas (1974)

If this movie doesn't make your skin crawl... It's On Too Tight!

 A sorority has a less than merry Christmas when a madman terrorizes them by making obscene, frightening phone calls in strange voices to their house. The sisters don't take the calls seriously until one of the housemates, Barb, goes missing. What they don't know is that she has been murdered inside the house and hidden in the attic. They also don't know that he is still in the house... and about to strike again!

Black Christmas is probably the first "proper", or "modern", slasher film. It preceded Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, even Halloween. It pioneered many of the cliche's that hold true to this day. In this sense, while it may seem pretty standard today, it was revolutionary for its time.

What's more, it's a great movie. It was made at a time before the seemingly unavoidable camp of later slasher films. Furthermore, it focuses much less on gore, and not at all on mass nudity and sexual content. Instead it focuses on suspense, creepy atmosphere, surprise, and a certain element of mystery around who the killer is; is it Peter, the abusive scum bag boyfriend, or someone else? In this sense it has much in common with proto-slasher films like Psycho and Dementia 13.

It may have been completely ignored when it was released originally in the 70's, but Black Christmas deserves some major cred as a creepy and suspenseful film which helped to launch an entirely new sub-genre of horror. In 2006 it finally got the recognition it deserved when it was honored in the timeless tradition of the remake. As with most remakes, it is unlikely to be as good. But stay tuned for a review of that in the future.


4.5 plastic cleaning bags out of 5
Rated 18A/R for violence, frightening scene, profanity. 

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Vampyres: Daughters of Darkness (1974)

They shared the pleasures of the flesh, and the horrors of the grave! 

A Vampire couple, Fran and Miriam, stop unsuspecting men on the side of the road by posing as hitchhikers, then lure them to their creepy and secluded mansion. Once inside they feed them copious amounts of wine, have their way with them, and ultimately drink their blood and fake their deaths as car crashes along the road near the house. Apparently the abundance of fatal car crashes all on one little stretch of road doesn't ring any alarm bells with the authorities.

One victim, Ted, seems to become a favourite of Fran's and is kept alive for a number of days, although he is weak from loss of blood. Nonetheless, he starts to get wise to their game as he notices more and more strange behavior on the part of the two women and begins to find unexplained wounds on himself in the morning.

Meanwhile, two American tourists, John and Harriet, are camping near by. Harriet observes the strange goings-on in and around the house and grows suspicious. John believes she simply has an over-active imagination. But one day Ted escapes and makes his way to John and Harriet's trailer to seek help. Now they are forced to face off against the vampires in a life or death fight. 

Vampyres can't boast too much in the plot department and is a bit repetitive with a basic story line which serves only to facilitate from scene to scene of softcore porn and/or violent murders. Overall the movie is well enough done in terms of cast, acting, effects, and a really good setting. With those things combined a really good, scary, vampire movie could have been made. But this isn't it.

1.5 disappointed dead guys out of 5

Rated R/X for nudity, sexual content, and violence.

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Living Dead Guy on Facebook

Living Dead Guy is now on Facebook. Visit by clicking here and then "Like" it! Currently the images aren't working on the link posts for new reviews. Another Facebook "improvement" recently has caused this problem for a lot of people and apparently it is being worked on.Whatever.

 On a side note, does anyone know if there is a "No-Face Book" that this guy could join?

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009)

Who needs a cabin to have fun?

It turns out the water in the infected lake from the original Cabin Fever gets bottled and shipped out for public consumption. The water makes its way to a high school just in time for prom and causes havoc as the flesh eating virus spreads across the school like wildfire causing flesh to rot off the bone and blood to spew from the mouths, and sometimes other orifices, of its victims. Only John (Noah Segan) and Cassie (Alexi Wasser) escape uninfected, but things are about to get even worse.

The military quickly quarantines the school and begins eradicating the infected in hopes of containing the deadly virus. Now John and Cassie have to fight to escape the danger of becoming infected, as well as indiscriminate and trigger happy soldiers.

Cabin Fever 2 definitely doesn't have the same kind of creepiness as the original, but it strives to make up for this with plentiful gore. It's a veritable cringe fest as one after another gruesome scene of blood and puss spewing virus victims decomposing and just generally making a big mess of the place. Let's put it this way, you might not want to watch this one while munching on a big plate of spaghetti or a steak cooked rare.

There is a sense of humor here though. Giuseppe Andrews returns as the thoroughly ridiculous Deputy Winston whose role in the movie is pretty negligible if not for comic relief and lewd commentary. There are quite a few little chuckles thrown in throughout the film to lighten the mood a bit before showing you the next scene of someones face getting smashed in or obnoxious emo kids wang spewing bloody puss. Take for example the proms music playlist. "Somebody put something in my drink" by the Ramones... clever.

3 band-saws out of 5
Rated R for strong bloody violence and gore, disturbing gross content, sexuality/nudity and pervasive language.

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Sorority House Massacre 2 (1990)

It's Cleavage vs. Cleavers and the result is Delta Delta Deadly! 

A group of college students buy the former home of a serial killer who massacred his own family as their new sorority house. The price is right, but buyer beware! Soon the sorority sisters are being knocked off one by one. Has the killer returned from the dead? Is it the creepy neighbor from across the street? Or is it someone else altogether?

After watching the utterly terrible Cheerleader Massacre and the first Sorority House Massacre, spending the time to watch this sequel was a difficult decision to make. But Sorority House Massacre turns out to be a pleasant surprise in a franchise of mostly fairly disappointing films. Like many slasher films, Sorority House Massacre 2 relies heavily on attractive young women wandering about nude or semi-nude for large portions of the film. Unlike many slasher films, this one could have actually relied on something else instead for a change because it is actually a decent film.

Sorority Massacre 2 dispenses with purposeful cheese and makes an attempt at a legitimately scary movie. While it might be a bit much to say it is terrifying, it succeeds in creating a creepy atmosphere as the backdrop for a movie that is half traditional slasher flick and half mystery. It leaves you uncertain who the killer is till near the end, and allows you to wonder if any of the characters will survive and if so, who. It also contains some great scenes like the sisters visit to the basement, the bloody bathtub scene, and the attic scene where it suddenly becomes shockingly apparent whodunit.

Sure, there is some occasional poorly done effects, the fighting scene between the final girl and the killer at the end is about as convincing as something out of a spaghetti western, and the final scene just has to make you chuckle a bit. But after all, that kind of stuff is what puts the charm in this kind of old slasher flick.

3.5 bloody bath tubs out of 5
Unrated: contains excessive nudity, violence, frightening scenes.

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Return of the Living Dead 3 (1993)

She's to die for.

A group of government scientists, headed by Colonel Reynolds, perform experiments on the reanimated corpses of the dead in the hopes of harnessing them, and the gas which reanimates them, as new forms of infantry and biological weapons. Although the experiments are secret, the Colonels son, Curt, breaks into the compound with his feisty and rebellious girlfriend Julie. They discover to their horror the grisly creatures therein and the experiments which are taking place on them, although it is not immediately obvious what the purpose of these experiements is.

Later, after a fight with his father, Curt runs away from home with Julie to start a new life away from his domineering dad. But the couple get in a nasty accident along the way, leaving Julie dead. Heartbroken, and in a state of shock, Curt returns to the military complex and reanimates Julie using the zombie gas. They escape the complex and head back out on the road where they have a run in with a Latino gang, one of whom the zombified Julie takes a chunk out of.

Julie and Curt find themselves on the run from the military, the gang, and the zombies  while Julie's condition deteriorates and her hunger for brain matter increasingly overtakes her. She may be to die for, but is that what it will take for Curt to stay with her?

Return of the Living Dead 3 is definitely my favourite Return of the Living Dead sequel. It's plot is kind of like a punk rock Romeo & Juliette with zombies. Although I am generally not a fun of talking zombies, the ones in this movies are very well done and cool looking which makes up for it. The acting isn't too heinous, and the characters are fun - especially Melinda Clarke who does an awesome job as Julie, the DIY zombie pin cushion.Basil Wallace is also great as the eccentric, but heroic man who lives in the sewer; "I may live with the rats, but I sure as hell ain't no rat."

Of course the movie isn't perfect. For one thing, the gang of Latino's is a ridiculous and stereotyped to the extreme. Frankly it comes off as more than a little racist. There are also a bunch of scenes where you can see wires, people hiding their "severed" arms behind their backs etc. if you really pay attention. At the same time, you've got to kind of appreciate the fact that this is a movie from before the days when everything was just computer animated to look perfect. In a way it makes the watching experience that much more fun.

4 canister zombies out of 5

Rated 18A/R for horror violence and gore, and for language, nudity, and sexuality.

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Night of the Demons 3: Demon House (1997)

You can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave...

A group of teenagers inadvertently get into a shoot out with police officers at a convenience store on their way to a Halloween party, and flee to an abandoned funeral parlor, Hull House, to hide. They soon encounter the houses inhabitant, Angela, a demon possessed temptress bent on killing her new guests and stealing their souls. Perhaps they should have taken their chances at the store!

As Angela's house guests get killed off one by one, it becomes apparent that the heroes will be the virginal (according to Angela) head cheerleader, her new crush, and a rather strange and somewhat unnecessary retired police officer whose aim is to apprehend the teens but ends up instead trying to save them from Angela's demonic forces. They struggle to escape across the underground stream, over which the demons can not cross. In the end it seems as though they have not only escaped, but also thwarted Angela once and for all. Despite this the final scene leaves the door open for yet another sequel, which unfortunately never did materialize.

Don't let the long, unnecessary, cheesy opening sequence fool you. Although perhaps not a masterpiece of the same caliber as the first two installments, Night of the Demons 3 is still a great sequel to the legendary original. With that said, it does feel like some of the creative greatness of the originals, there just aren't as many scenes with the wonderful and memorable absurdity of the first two films and the addition of newfangled special effects actually ends up serving to take away from the great atmosphere that the original films maintained. Not a bad flick, but if you have to miss out on one of the three, this is the one to miss. The other two are must-see's. Maybe it is better that they never produced the fourth sequel. It would be a tremendous shame to see this series decline into awfulness like many other horror series have.


3.5 out of 5 demon cats.

Rated 18A/R for strong violence and gore, sexuality and language.

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Sorority House Massacre (1986)

Who will survive the final exam?

A college student, Beth, begins to have strange dreams and visions when she moves into her new sorority house. What she doesn't realize is that the terrifying projections of her subconscious are brought on by the fact that the sorority house was her childhood home where her older brother murdered her family, missing only her because she was able to hide in the basement. He was locked up in a psychiatric hospital while she blocked the memory out of her mind and went on to live a normal life... till now.

It turns out that her moving into the house triggers a psychic bond between herself and her brother, pushing him to escape from his cell and come seeking to finish what he started years earlier by taking his now-adult sisters life and that of anyone who gets in the way.

Sorority House Massacre seems to try to pick up on elements of two of the more popular slasher flicks of the time; Halloween (the crazy family-slashing brother with the uncontrollable impulse to do away with the last remaining relative) , and Nightmare on Elm Street (the dreams and visions which become blurred with reality). However, it uses neither of these themes in an equally frightening or otherwise effective way. By the mid way point, Sorority House Massacre becomes exceptionally dull. Nothing much of note happens except the killer escaping from the hospital, and Beth's recurring dreams are getting pretty old and overdone.

Finally, the killer pulls up to the house in a faux-wood paneled station wagon (enough to make anyone want to run for it) and begins to slice and dice uncreatively with a hunting knife. The remainder of the movie isn't too bad, but neither is it remarkable. Over-all, an average mid-80's slasher film with little excitement or creativity. The gore is pretty minimal, the acting pretty average for what the movie is, and the scares amount to little more than a mild air of creepiness on the part of the killer.

1.5 bleeding photos out of 5
Rated 18A/R for violence, nudity, sexuality, and frightening scenes.


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Night of the Demons 2 (1994)

No one leaves this party. Ever.

In Night of the Demons, Angela and her friends partied it up at an abandoned funeral home, only to be possessed by demons which turn them into blood thirsty killers. In the first sequel, Night of the Demons 2, Angela's younger sister Mouse is brought against her will by her Catholic School "friends" to Hull House for another spooky Halloween shin-dig.

Predictably, Angela gets back up to her old tricks and soon the teens are being possessed and brutally murdered. Mouse and her friends fight for survival with the assistance of an unusual arsenal, and their teacher who it just so happens is a ninja Nun wielding a yard stick.

Night of the Demons 2 is one of those ever so rare sequels which is actually as good, if not better, than the original. This is just a great movie from start to finish. It's campy in all the right ways, carries plenty of gore, enough scares to keep things interesting, and loads of memorable scenes including the Jehovah's Witness's visit, headless basketball, face-melting water balloons, demon-possessed breasts, and the Angela-snake to name just a few of them.

The movies is made even better by the fact that its awesome scenes are complimented by great make up and effects and a well rounded cast including the usual awesome performance by Amelia Kinkade as the sometimes charming host, sometime hideous flesh eater, Angela.

5 holy super soakers out of 5

Rated 18A/R for horror violence and gore, sexuality, nudity and language.

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Cabin Fever (2002)

Terror... in the flesh.

A group of young adults, including two couples and their obnoxious friend Bert, travel to a cabin in the woods for a weekend camping trip. While out making a failed attempt to hunt small critters, Bert encounters a very ill man covered in sores and blood. He decides he doesn't want to risk catching whatever the man has, so he scares him with a warning shot. The man falls into a ditch and Bert runs back to the cabin where he conceals the frightening encounter from his friends and hopes that it is over and can simply be forgotten. No such luck. The scabby character returns and the campers are left no choice but to ward him off with force, but not before he has spewed potentially contaminated blood all over the camp.

Now the five cabin mates find themselves desperately scrambling to avoid infection and growing ever more suspicious and paranoid of interactions with one another. When one of them becomes infected, they decide their only hope for survival is to escape the woods and find medical attention. Their efforts appear to be in vain as one after another they contract the strange flesh eating virus rendering them violently ill, grotesque in appearance, and eventually dead. Will anyone survive and what will remain of them if so?


The thing that is interesting about Cabin Fever is that it starts out by putting you under the impression that you are about to see a usual slasher flick. A bunch of college students heading out to the forest to party, getting into the usual sex, drugs, and booze is reminiscent of many well known slasher films. But things take an unexpected and interesting turn when it becomes apparent that the killer is an invisible and basically inescapable one. Even Jeff, the pretty boy character who figures he can make it alone and abandons the rest of his friends who are trying to work together to escape the woods, ultimately meets a violent end proving that it doesn't pay to be a selfish prick.

Cabin Fever may not be heavy on special effects, but it should get props for its well-done gruesome makeup job. The cast, including that guy from Boy Meets World, do a decent job of acting and the script is written so as to be believable that these could actually be college students. It gives you some characters to root for and some who you will hope have their skin devoured. Throw in a few good scares, a unexpected band of homicidal rednecks, and a very odd police officer, and you've got a movie that is worthwhile and different. Catch it!

4 shaving accidents out of 5 
Rated 18A/R for strong violence and gore, sexuality, nudity, language and brief drug use.

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