The first testament says "an eye for an eye." - The second testament says "love thy neighbour." - The third testament ... Kicks Ass!!!
Jesus returns to Earth, but his job turns out to be a bit trickier than scripture suggested. The kung-fu fighting (apparently it's true) savior runs up against some serious trouble with a gang of ruffian Vampires who can walk in sunlight and aren't morally offended by taking a swing at God's only begotten son. Luckily he obtains the assistance of a skin-tight jumpsuit wearing heroine and famous Mexican wrestler El Santo. Not sure how the two of them got left out of both the Old and New Testaments. I guess God wanted to leave a few things out just for the purpose of surprise. God the Son also manages to help teach us all a valuable message about equality of sexual orientations, much to the chagrin, no doubt, of the more bigoted amongst his followers.
It's a horror movie, it's a musical, it's a kung-fu flick, it's a comedy, it's low budget, it's... absolutely and utterly bizarre. And, in it's own odd way, it's pretty darn awesome.
5 dead guys out of 5
Not rated. Contains violence.
Watch the Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter trailer
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