Ed Gein (2000)

The Truth is more terrifying than any fiction!

Ed Gein was a solitary man who lived on the outskirts of Plainfield, Wisconsin. In 1957 his arrest uncovered one of the most bizarre crimes in history.

Having been left alone after the death of his abusive, domineering, religiously fanatical mother, on whom his whole sense of reality was based, Gein began to descend into an insane and twisted world of grave robberies, necrophilia, cannibalism, and murder.

The 2000 film Ed Gein tells the story of a very disturbed man who did very disturbing things. His heinous acts have since inspired the villains of such horror classics as Silence of the Lambs, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Psycho.

Compared with the 2007 film, The Butcher of Plainfield, this film tells the story far closer to the facts. While less action packed and explicitly violent, it still comes out much more powerful by simply sticking the true case of Ed Gein.

As with the real life case, there are only two actual murders; neither of which are particularly graphic but yet are horrifying in a realistic, non-sensationalized way. Most of Ed's grisly decorum and human skin garb were produced from the corpses of the more than a dozen women he excavated from the grave. It doesn't need to go into graphic detail of how Gein employed his troubling DIY skills to get the items in question from point A to point B. Watching him throw two chops of what we can only assume is human flesh in his frying pan, or dance around in human skins is more than enough to churn the stomach. This is one crime where the saying "truth is stranger than fiction" definitely holds true.

3 cans of pork and beans out of 5
Rated R for violence, sexual content, nudity, disturbing scenes. 

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

36 billion people have died since the reign of humanity. For the new Dawn, there's a reunion...


Ana, a nurse, flees her home in terror as her husband, who is killed by a zombie, returns from the dead and attacks her. She escapes and meets up with assorted survivors of the zombie apocalypse who are planning to take refuge in a local shopping mall. Among them is Kenneth, a police officer, who along with Ana becomes a leading figure in the group. But how long can the survivors ward off the zombie hordes while keeping the peace amongst themselves? And where do they go from here?

Sarah Polley and Ving Rhames star in this remake of one of the most renowned zombie films in history, Dawn of the Dead. The film follow much of the same plot line although there are significant alterations. For example, no biker gang... and a totally different kind of escape attempt.

The zombies in this are faster and louder than in the original. In some ways that makes them more scary, but it is a definite departure from Romero's zombies and the classic original. The acting and special effects are good and there are a fair number of good jumps. The social commentary, on the other hand, is played down significantly to the point that there isn't much more to the fact that they are in a mall except that they are in a mall. What's left is a fast paced and action packed zombie fest with a dark undercurrent of hopelessness. A good, but still inferior, remake.

4 celebrity zombie pot shots out of 5
Rated R for pervasive strong horror violence and gore, language and sexuality.

Deadgirl (2008)

You Never Forget Your First Time.

Two high school students, Rickie and JT, stumble upon a woman tied to a hospital bed in the depths of an abandoned psychiatric hospital. She appears to be alive. But soon it becomes apparent that she is actually undead.

While Rickie argues in favour of altering the authorities, his deranged friend JT has other ideas. The "deadgirl", as she becomes known, becomes JT's personal sex slave, and soon he invites in his equally pathetic friend Wheeler as well. But when the deadgirl escapes they will pay the price for their sordid actions.

Deadgirl is undoubtedly a different kind of zombie movie. There is minimal actual zombie related violence since the only zombie in the film is strapped to a table most of the film. But when the flesh munching does begin, it makes it all the more satisfying; especially considering the nature of the "victims" and the element of sweet vengeance.

The scares may be few and far between, but there is quite a bit of gore and a definite atmosphere of creepiness, which is helped by the setting of the film. Of course the film's content is also highly disturbing as it deals with the topic of sexual violence. There's a commentary somewhere in here on the level of depraved misogyny afflicting much of our decadent society today.

The special effects, make up, and camera work all deserve some credit here. I'm not sure the same can be said for the acting. Maybe the blame belongs on the writers rather than the actors, but the dialogue is horrid and the level of generalized douchery amongst the main characters calls for the viewer to desperately look forward to the moment that deadgirl will devour them. Deadgirl is the exception, which she has no lines other than growling, she looks very scary. Rickie and JT in particular look like that fool from Twilight, but sound like they think they are on Jersey Shore. And what exactly is up with "the good guy" Rickie? From whence comes his big internal conflict about what to do about the fact that his friend is a psychopath and a rapist. Here's a suggestion: call the cops.

Either way, I am hoping for a sequel wherein a zombie deadgirl hunts down douchebags and sodomizes them against their will. After this movie, it's only fair.

2.5 deadgirls out of 5
Rated R for strong aberrant sexuality, graphic nudity, bloody violence and pervasive language.

Memorial Valley Massacre (1988)

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back In The Tent...

Memorial Valley has been a practically untouched natural wonder, and a delicate one-of-a-kind ecosystem. Until now. Now a profit hungry corporation is poised to turn the Valley into develop the area, starting by opening a public camp ground.

What appears to be a sting of acts of sabotage has delayed construction of the camp infrastructure. But despite this, the owner pushes forward with the camps grand opening, and campers flood into the pristine valley to celebrate the Memorial Day weekend.

But soon a string of strange murders begins, carried out by a caveman looking character who seems to live within the confines of the valley and does not appreciate the intrusion on his home.

Memorial Valley Massacre is one of countless stereotypical, low budget slasher flicks that were pumped out in the hundreds during the 1980's. One can tell that the well of solid storyline concepts was getting pretty dry by 1988 based on how inane this one is.

The films unlikely and silly plot is topped only by its very poor acting which at best, comes off as scripted, and at worst, sounds like it's being read off a Teleprompter. In fact, I'm pretty sure that in some of the scenes the actors had their lines written down on pages at their feet, below the gaze of the camera, and they appear to be reading from them.

The villain himself is totally absurd and not scary in the least. He looks like he should be hunting Woolly Mammoth, not campers on ATV's. Then there's the "surprise" plot twist. Groan.

It's a shame just how bad this movie is, because it does seem to be trying to say something. We have a greedy company, whose owner cares for nothing buy profit, aiming to destroy pristine and irreplaceable wilderness to make a quick buck. We have a bunch of rich, spoiled tourist-campers out to have fun without regard for who or what they hurt in the process. And we have some sort of hairy eco-avenger out impaling them with spears.

Potential existed... but only boredom ensued.

0.5 loincloths out of 5
Rated R for violence, nudity, sexual content, language.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

After a decade of silence... the buzz is back. 


Radio host "Stretch" takes a prank call which turns suspicious when the sounds of screaming and chainsaws erupt. She later finds out that the callers died in what authorities are chalking up to an accident. But Stretch suspects that a family of chainsaw wielding cannibals who terrorized a rural area in Texas years ago is actually to blame. She joins forces with an eccentric cowboy, the father of some of the cannibals earlier victims, to get to the bottom of the grisly murders.

Sure enough, Leatherface and his family of man eating misfits is to blame. After having just won the state chilli cook off, Drayton, the family cook, is displeased to learn that someone has discovered his families nasty secret. Soon Stretch's life hangs in the balance, but her new friend, the cowboy, is on his way with a new set of duelling chainsaws to boot.

TCM 2 is a toungue-in-cheek lampoon of the original film, released more than a decade earlier. While significantly gorier than its predecessor, the sequel falls flat on its face in terms of scares, suspense, and atmosphere. What it does offer, is multiple opportunities to gag through a variety of nasty scenes of gruesome violence courtesy of horror special effects genius Tom Savini.

Unfortunately, a string of random grisly acts isn't enough to tie together the film as a whole. Horrible, over the top acting, combined with a total lack of likeable or compelling characters helps to finish this off as a dull, horrible sequel. The final icing on the cake, however, is the transformation of Leatherface from a mad, inhuman, killing machine, into a goofy guy in a mask who kills nobody and has a crush on the main protagonist. The whole film wraps up with a blatantly re-used scene from the original featuring "Grandpa" and his unsteady skull hammering hand, followed up an almost epic chainsaw duel.

Slasher films are known for their propensity towards sequels. Sadly, in most cases the majority of these sequels are dismal in comparison to the original. Some slasher series last a few movies before falling into total ridiculousness and idiocy. Unfortunately, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre series was not one of those.

1.5 chainsaw duels out of 5
Unrated: contains violence, gore, language. 

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

Who will survive and what will be left of them?

Sally and Franklin are on their way with three of their friends to visit their Grandfathers grave after news that it had been desecrated in some sort of bizarre ritual. Along the way they pass a slaughterhouse and pick up a hitch-hiker who they quickly realize is severely mentally ill and dangerous. They manage to ditch him again, but soon realize that they are running out of gas. Stranded, they decide to visit the abandoned former home of Sally and Franklin's father, and explore the surrounding area.

But their explorations lead them to a journey into unthinkable, un-ending horror when they encounter a family of sadistic cannibals are living in a nearby farmhouse. Amongst them, the soon to be notorious Leatherface, a cross-dressing, chainsaw wielding, human skin wearing mass murderer.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which claims to be "a true story" is actually based extremely loosely on real-life cannibal and serial killer Ed Gein. Perhaps more accurately, it is inspired by Ed Gein, since very little of the actual story coincides in any way with the true story of the Butcher of Plainfield.

One things for sure though, Texas Chainsaw Massacre freaked people out and sent critics, censors, and the religious right into a frenzy upon its release. Since that time, and despite its many relatively poor sequels, it has come to be recognized as one of the intense and frightening films ever made. It was released before any of the other now famous slasher franchises such as Halloween, Friday the 13th, or Nightmare on Elm Street, and was still perhaps more brutal and shocking than all three put together.

But what sets TCM apart from modern day "torture porn" films such as Hostel and Saw, is the element of surprise and suspense, the intensity of its terror, the feeling what is taking place could only happen in a twisted nightmare. The first kill hits the viewer out of nowhere, with brutal speed and intensity, and the second follows quickly behind. Then the grinding suspense begins as we delve deeper and deeper into the madness, spiralling out of control towards the films abrupt, almost unfinished feeling ending.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre is an apocalyptic allegory of a society gone wrong, and a machine gun speed assault on the senses. A must see for horror fans.

4.5 skin masks out of 5

Rated R for gore, violence, frightening scenes. 

Urban Legend (1998)

Just because it didn't happen, doesn't mean it can't.

Natalie and several of her friends are enrolled in a Folklore class at Pendleton University in New England. Their instructor, Professor Wexler, is teaching the class about urban legends, including his own legend about a mad psychology professor who he claims murdered six students at the Universities own Stanley Hall 25 years ago.

When a fellow student, Michelle, is murdered in what appears to be a copy of one of the legends, Natalie begins to suspect that a serial killer is on the loose using urban legends as his or her calling card. Soon her friends and others around her are disappearing and turning up dead in increasing numbers, and all in ways that coincide with the urban legends. Michelle is left to discover who is responsible, before she is next.

The interesting thing about the theme of Urban Legend is that hardly anyone can say they have never heard of at least one of these legends. People hear any number of things through word of mouth and never really take the time to see if there is accuracy to what they are taking as truth. In most cases, it is probably true that the stories are manufactured in order to instill through fear a particular behavior that the originator of the legend believed to be good. Professor Wexler's class would likely be a very interesting one indeed. After all, to what extent to the films of the horror genre play the same role in society today?

As for the film itself, the 1990's were largely a sapless decade for horror. With that said, there were a few gems. Gem might be going a bit far for this one, but it isn't bad over-all. Some of the dialogue might be poor, and the lengthy explanation of the killers motives mixed with insane ranting was drawn out unnecessarily to the point of silliness.

There are also some scenes that seem a bit unexplainable. For example, at the end of the film... why do the survivors drive away from the scene of the crime when ambulance are coming to them and they are injured... and don't they need to give a statement to the police? Where are they going? As for that guy from Dawson's Creek... well, even they couldn't help but poke fun at that.

On the other hand, it does keep you guessing about the identity of the villain almost right to the end... well done on that score.  There are a few good scenes of suspense and the odd jump, without which it wouldn't have much to offer the average horror fan since it is feeble on gore and bereft of the seemingly obligatory nudity. A decent 90's slasher flick in its context, and it did well enough at the box office to warrant two sequels.

3.5 slashers hiding in the back seat out of 5
Rated R for horror violence/gore, language and sexual content.

Fan of the Dead (2008)

When the dead are in the theater, the fans will walk the earth. 

This low-budget documentary follows French film maker and zombie fan Nicolas Garreau to the filming locations of George Romero's zombie classics such as Night of the Living Dead (original and remake), Dawn of the Dead, and Day of the Dead.

The viewer will see such places as the basement from Night of the Living Dead, the mall from Dawn of the Dead, and the military base from Day of the Dead. How have these locales changed since the movies were filmed? Do they still hold the haunting power they contained in Romero's masterpieces?

Maybe. But watching a movie of some really excited zombie nerd walking around in the vicinity of places where Romero once filmed only stays interesting for so long. It's kind of interesting to see the mall, for example, still relatively as it was in the original Dawn of the Dead. But I'd still rather spend my time re-watching the actual movie. It also doesn't help that the film, originally in French, is very poorly dubbed over in English by a guy who sounds as unenthusiastic about the documentary as I felt.

There's probably a lot one could look at in a documentary about these groundbreaking films. What was making them like? What was the socio-economic context that led to such films and their rise to popularity? What was the reaction to them at the time? How did they become cult classics? What message underlies them? How do they compare to contemporaries? How do they compare to modern zombie films, or to those of the past? These, and other interesting questions are NOT studied in this documentary.

In fact, when the filmmaker has a chance to speak with cast members from Dawn of the Dead, such as the protagonists and some lead zombies, he just asks them if they thought the movie would ever get so big. They all say no, not really. Riveting.

1 mall tour out of 5
Unrated.

Campsite Massacre (1983)

Can anyone survive?

A group of forest rangers travel deep into the woods for a camping trip that is part work, part pleasure. But what they don't know is that many years ago a young girl was raped by her uncle in the very same woods. She told no one, fearing the consequences if her uncle, her families breadwinner, found out.


But the horrible secret drove her insane, and she was admitted to a sanitarium. There, they discovered she was pregnant. Her child was taken from her due to her mental state. But he returned, and broke her out of the sanitarium. Now she and her son haunt the very woods where the rangers are camped.

When their coworkers start to turn up dead, the rangers realize their lives are in danger and they have to escape. But when escape starts to seem impossible, they decide instead to fight back.

Campsite Massacre, also known as "The Final Terror", is a relatively standard slasher film from a time when the sub-genre was all the rage. There are some differences from the majority of slasher films in this era, however. First all, notably the gore is quite toned down in this film compared with others from the era, like the well known Halloween and Friday the 13th films. The film also lacks in the nudity department which is very unusual for 1980's slasher films.

Character development is quite weak here, as is a lot of the dialogue. It is unusual and somewhat interesting that you end up with a sizable group of survivors ultimately fighting off their attacker together rather than just one person. Unfortunately none of those individuals are all that interesting and neither are the villains especially since we don't get to see the primary one until the last couple minutes of the film.

A lot more could have been done with a story and a setting like this in the way of atmosphere, mood, and scares. Yet any creepy mood that may have been on its way to being created was pretty much blown when the protagonists decided to march in like a bunch of Boy Scouts playing Rambo and confront the villain.

Ultimately, not an awful movie, but one with too many missed opportunities and not enough of the makings of a really solid slasher film. One among hundreds.

2 heads in the outhouse out of 5
Rated R: contains violence, language.

Ed Gein: The Butcher of Plainfield (2007)

In the outskirts of Plainfield, Wisconsin, lived a man by the name of Ed Gein, born in 1906. He lived a lonely and secluded life. Most of his life was spent only in the company of  his controlling and abusive mother, and his older brother Henry, who died mysteriously in 1944. His father, an alcoholic, had died four years earlier.

When his mother died in 1945, Ed was truly alone in the world. He began a rapid deterioration into insanity. First, he turned to grave robbing. Then, to murder. Ed Gein became one of the most notorious serial killers in human history because of the obscene and grisly acts he committed, including cannibalism, necrophilia, and the fashioning of household items and clothes out of human skin and body parts.

Ed Gein: The Butcher of Plainfield tells the story of this deeply disturbed individual as seen through a highly Hollywoodized, yet obviously low budget, lens.

The film stars Kane Hodder as Ed Gein. Among Hodder's previous exploits are appearances as Jason Voorhees in several of the later sequels in the original Friday the 13th series. But Hodder matches neither the stature nor over-all appearance for Ed Gein. Plus his tattoos are visible several times in the film, which is the most minuscule of the innumerable historical inaccuracies in this film.

In actuality, this film is the story of Ed Gein spliced with all sorts of added bits to spice up the plot. The film goes very little into the psychology of Gein or what led him to become the monster he was, while also offering very little in the way of historical fact. It's a story that needed no dramatization, but got plenty anyhow, with the results being unfortunate.

It's unfortunate that the man who inspired the creation of such famous horror film characters as Norman Bates, Hannibal Lectre, and Leatherface, could not get a decent film for himself with The Butcher of Plainfield. Luckily, a somewhat better film about Gein does exist in the form of In the Light of the Moon, directed by Chuck Parello and released in 2000.

2 meat hooks out of 5
Rated R for strong violence and disturbing graphic images.

Within the Woods (1978)

Before Evil Dead came...

A group of friends is out for a peaceful and relaxing weekend at remote cabin. But when one of them accidentally desecrates an Aboriginal burial ground he is possessed by an angry spirit and the serenity of their hideaway quickly gives way to horror.

Within the Woods represents Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell's first shot at a real movie. One will quickly note a number of similarities between the plot of this film and that of Evil Dead, which they would produce just a few years later and which would become a famous horror classic. Even some of the scenes are re-created again in Evil Dead.

Of course there are some differences as well, like the source of the possession. "Indian" burial ground must not have flown at the time of Evil Dead's production. Also we see Bruce Campbell's character become a violent demon whereas in the films that followed, he remained the hero who ultimately came out relatively unscathed.

Within the Woods comes in at only about 32 minutes. It's quality is grainy at best, it's budget was small, and it lacks most of the wonderful special effects of Evil Dead. But all this aside, Within the Wood remains an effective and entertaining horror film. One can already see the greatness of Sam Raimi's work overcome the difficult conditions that were presented in the creation of this film. Many more fantastic projects that he probably never dreamed of were waiting in his future. This little known, difficult to come by, part of the otherwise well known Evil Dead franchise is well worth seeking out and viewing.


4 rickety patio swings out of 5
Unrated: contains violence and frightening scenes. 

Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)

Ready for your deadtime story? 

A man known as Brayker is on the run from a powerful demon known at The Collector. Brayker holds the last of seven keys, each of which is a holy container filled with the blood of Christ. The keys were scattered afar, but now Brayker must protect the remaining key or else evil will descend upon the universe.


The Collector tracks Brayker to a seedy motel, the inhabitants of which include an elderly alcoholic, a beautiful but self-esteem lacking sex trade worker, an arrogant and bossy git, the ornery old inn keeper, a highly out-of-shape police officer, and a convict on a work release programme. This motley crew must now fight The Collector and his demon henchmen in order to protect the key and save their lives and those of the rest of the universes' inhabitants.

Demon Knight is a vast departure from the first two Tales from the Crypt films. The film introduces to the big screen the Cryptkeeper, a character not present in the 1970's Tales from the Crypt films, but popularized through the Tales from the Crypt television series and its animated counterpart; Tales from the Cryptkeeper. It also looses the short story anthology format and the "what goes around comes around" motif of the originals.

The movie is substantially more high budget looking than the TV show or the 1970's films, but still plenty campy. Quite purposely, the film aims alternate between scaring and amusing the viewer. There isn't much to scare most folks in this film, though a couple of the scenes may not be for the weak stomached.

In the final analysis the story is goofy, the premise is ludicrous, and some of the special effects are over the top. But it's still hard not to find some significant entertainment value in Demon Knight.


3.5 fists through the face out of 5
Rated R for gore, horror violence, sexuality, nudity, and language.

I've Been Watching You (2001)

This fraternity is getting some new blood. 

Doma Tau Omega, a fraternity of bleach-blond, sun glass wearing douche-masters, has a terrible secret, no it isn't spray-tan related. They are actually a satanic vampire cult and they are on the lookout for fresh blood. Freshman blood, to be more exact, and they have their eyes on newcomer Chris Chandler.

Will Chris, and his friends Dan and Megan, discover the true nature of these dastardly Jersey Shore rejects in time, or will Chris become just another sacrifice to Satan, Snooky, or whatever evil entity it is that they worship?

I've Been Watching You, also known as The Brotherhood, became painful to watch less than five minutes in. It got worse from there on. The acting is awful, the dialogue is ridiculous, and the special effects are mostly non-existent. None of the characters are likable; from the vamp-douches themselves, to Chris's whimpering hard-done-by sidekick Chris, to the thicko main character himself. The best part was the ending. Not because it was a good ending, just because it was over.

0 out of 5 spray-tan stained coffin liners out of 5
Rated 14A: contains profanity, violence.

Gojira (1954)

Civilization crumbles as its death rays blast a city of 6 million from the face of the earth!

 A giant prehistoric monster is awakened and mutated by American nuclear tests. Arising from the depths of the ocean, it unleashes havoc on Japan with its radioactive fire breath and the crushing blows of its limbs and tail. No weapon known to man seems to be able to stop the monster, known as Godzilla.

The only hope lies in a one-eyed mad scientist, Dr. Serizawa, who has developed a powerful and dangerous new weapon. But will he be convinced to reveal his horrifying invention to the world and risk it being used for evil purposes?

Godzilla might look hokey to some today, but it must have been terrifying to the people of Japan in 1954. Just a short few years since World War Two ended with the devastating and horrendous dropping of atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Gojira, or Godzilla, brought a new nuclear horror to the big screen which must have hit close to home for many Japanese people.

It may not be news to most sane people today to note that nuclear weapons are a bad idea all around and ought to be abolished. But it was a significant thing to say in the context that this film was released in to.

Furthermore, its an absolute classic. Gojira is a joy to watch and it is no wonder that it spawned nearly incalculable numbers of sequels, spin offs, and remakes, ranging from good to total swill. Yet, even amongst the best of those films that followed, in many ways, none can live up to the original. Gojira will always be among the true greats of the monster move genre.

5 atomic dinosaurs out of 5
Unrated