Evil Dead 2 (1987)

Kiss Your Nerves Good-Bye!

A young supermarket attendant named Ash takes his girlfriend, Linda, to a secluded cabin in the woods for a romantic get away. But when Ash finds a tape recorder containing a recording of a professor reciting passages from an ancient text, the Necronomicon, he soon realizes it has accidentally unleashed ancient demonic spirits.

The spirits possess Linda, turning her in to a hideous Deadite, and the night just gets worse from there. Soon the professor's daughter arrives with a peculiar entourage and they begin to get knocked off and/or possessed one by one. Finally Ash is forced to make his transition from supermarket attendant to chainsaw wielding, boom stick blasting, super hero in order to defeat the Deadites and stay alive.

While Evil Dead 2 does not follow from the story line of the first film, it shares many similarities in terms of plot. So, it isn't a sequel in the strictest sense, but neither is it really a remake. It's more of a re-visioning of Evil Dead with a bigger budget, more special effects, and a heavy dose of slapstick.

Evil Dead 2 holds true to the basics of the series as laid out in the original Evil Dead and its little known predecessor, Within the Woods, but it is a lot more fun and less scary than the original. In that sense there is a major shift in focus which continued through the third film, Army of Darkness. Of course this is also the film wherein Ash begins to transform into the cocky, arrogant, but also goofy, tough guy as opposed to the quivering scaredy cat who spends way too much time trapped under bookcases in the first film.

This film is undoubtedly a classic, part of one of the most widely known and loved horror series in history. What's not to love; chainsaw hands, flying eyeballs, blood geysers, you name it. But for me, it will always be second to the scarier, grittier, original Evil Dead, which did so much with so little and did it all so well.

5 flying eyeballs out of 5
Unrated: contains violence, gore, frightening scenes, nudity, language.

The Haunting in Connecticut (2009)

Some things cannot be explained.

The Campbell family moves to Connecticut in order to be closer to the hospital where their son, Matt, must regularly travel for cancer treatments. But they don't know that the charming old Victoria house they have taken up residence in was formerly a funeral parlour, and no ordinary one at that. In fact, it was the site of some unspeakable horrors. To make matters worse, the former owners son, Jonah, was a clairvoyant who communicated with the dead.

Matt begins to have frightening dreams and visions, but the family initially believes that they are the side effects of an experimental treatment that he is undergoing. However, as time passes, the visions become all to real and the spirits that haunt the house make themselves known to the family as a whole. They call on Reverend Popescu (Elias Koteas) for assistance in the hopes of exorcising the spirits from the house, and saving Matt's fragile life.

The tagline quite correctly states that "some things cannot be explained". I agree in full. For example, it is inexplicable that horror film promoters continue to peddle the ridiculous line that these movies are "based on a true story".

Was Jaw's "based on a true story"? Yes, sometimes people get bit by sharks. Was King Kong? Yes, some people went to a jungle and brought back an ape. Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Of course, Ed Gein killed people and wore their skins. Is this movie "based on a true story"? Sure, some people think they saw some ghosts. In actuality, Ray Garton, the author of the book on which the film is based, has distanced himself from the accuracy of the events portrayed therein.

The movie itself, however, isn't too bad. It's creepy, and it has a good number of jumps throughout. But it doesn't quite manage to sustain its suspense. Most of the scariest content is actually in the first half of the film because by the time you get to the second half you have already seen it all, there is no mystery left. It is also a dramatic film, with the family struggling with the difficulties associated with Matt's worsening cancer. This too is effective enough but, as with the horror level, only insofar as to make this a decent, but unmemorable film.

2.5 eyelids out of 5
Rated PG-13 for some intense sequences of terror and disturbing images

The Thing (2011)

It's not human. Yet.

A small group of American's, including Palaeontologist Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), and helicopter pilot Sam Carter (Joel Edgerton), join a Norwegian expedition in the Antarctic. The expedition has discovered something phenomenal; what appears to be an alien space craft buried for thousands of years under the ice.

Even more amazing is what they find next; an alien life form preserved in the frozen tundra. They extract the specimen and take a tissue sample before leaving it in cold storage inside their base. What they don't realize is that it is still alive.

Soon they have a highly dangerous, highly aggressive alien life form inside their base. To make matters worse, it has the ability to replicate its victims, thereby hiding amongst its prey completely unseen. The team quickly begins to succumb to terror, paranoia, and infighting as the thing strikes again and again. It seems that only the level headed Kate has what it takes to lead what is left of the expedition to survival, if it's not already too late.

Before anyone gets uppity about this "remake" of The Thing, please be informed/reminded that in fact John Carpenter's very excellent 1982 film by the same name was in fact a remake in its own right. If you don't believe this then you haven't yet heard of the 1951 film The Thing From Another World. Good, now that the groaning about it being a remake and being too much like John Carpenter's film have been laid to rest, let's look at the merits of the film itself.

This version of The Thing is actually a prequel to the original film. In Carpenter's film, the thing comes to an American outpost in the form of a dog which comes from a nearby Norwegian outpost which they later learn has been destroyed. This film actually takes us through the original discovery of the creature by the Norwegians, the events leading to their destruction, and its escape.

But at the same time, and without copying exactly from the previous film, the 2011 version of The Thing is of course very similar to Carpenters in many ways. Even some of the scenes and story line progression are very similar to Carpenters. In this way the film pays homage to Carpenter's classic, without remaking it scene for scene.

The Thing is relatively successful in capturing the suspense and claustrophobia of its 1982 counterpart. Nobody, including the viewer, knows where, or who, the thing may be at any moment... or when it may strike again. But where Carpenter focused on the psychological aspect, leaving the viewers imagination to do some of the work, this film is a lot more in your face with the gore, and the creature itself. The original shocked viewers with scenes like the severed head that sprouted legs and crawled away. This film takes that kind of imagery to the extreme, piling on the cool visuals of the thing and its attacks.

The Thing is well worth checking out for fans of the 1982 film, and others who are in to sci-fi inspired horror films.

4 flame-throwers out of 5
Rated R for strong creature violence and gore, disturbing images, and language

Twins of Evil (1971)

One Uses Her Beauty For Love! One Uses Her Lure For Blood!

It is the 19th Century, and two orphaned young women, stunning twins named Frieda and Maria, arrive in a European village to live with their uncle Gustav Weil. Maria is conservative and obedient, while her sister Frieda is rebellious and adventurous. Their uncle, a paranoid religious fanatic, trusts neither of them. He leads a group of puritan loonies who roam the country side burning alive anyone who they decide may be a witch, or other supposed servant of the devil.

What they don't know is that while they are out setting fire to innocent peasants and unfortunate young women, the local Lord, Count Karnstein, is a real life evil doer who is operating right under their noses. But Karnstein soon takes notice of the twins, especially Frieda, who has also caught the eye of local sceptic, Anton. Karnstein aims to take her under his devil worshipping wing, and soon the stage is set for an old fashioned "good" vs. "evil" showdown.

Twins of Evil is one of Hammer's later films, which were marked by a significant increase in nudity, sexuality, and violence as was increasingly the norm in horror films of the day. The films gore level is certainly above that of some earlier Hammer films, but this is the same year that films like Blood Freak, A Clockwork Orange, and Tombs of the Blind Dead, were released and on this front Hammer simply could not keep up. In terms of sex appeal, on the other hand, this one must have blown away the competition. Hammer's efforts to keep up with the times ultimately failed, but that didn't necessarily mean that their productions during the later years weren't still entertaining.

This film, for example, is highly watch-able all around. The performances, particularly those of Peter Cushing (Gustav), Damien Thomas (Karnstein), David Warbeck (Anton), and the twins (Mary and Madeline Collinson), were all quite good. The characters were compelling, if a bit static.

The dark, gothic atmosphere of the Hammer film is still present here, and that adds to the films charm. The same goes for the costumes and sets, all of which help to complete the over-all feel of the movie successfully.

Of course the trouble ultimately is that both the "good" guys and "bad" guys are pretty difficult to root for. They are both crazed religious nuts who kill innocent people. At least the bad guys look hot while doing it. In the end though, the real good characters win the day and everyone else gets their due.

Even if Hammer was in decline in these later years, films like this one are still entertaining and fun to watch. As it turns out, Twins of Evil was part of the Karnstein Trilogy. Rest assured the other two films will be reviewed soon.

3.5 human sacrifices out of 5
Rated R: contains violence, nudity, sexuality.

Gravestoned (2009)

Finally. A Horror Film for Stoners.

Two down and out stoners are trying to make their way into the movie business by providing props to a pompous director who is working on a new horror film. They are assigned to come up with a realistic-looking severed arm prop for one of the movies grisly scenes. But when the director doesn't find any of the props to be sufficiently realistic, the two pot heads hatch a hair-brained scheme to use a real arm instead.

They obtain a cadaver through a relative who can apparently obtain just about anything, and then they remove the arm using a chainsaw. The director is impressed, but there's just one problem. The cadaver has become a zombie and it wants its arm back. Now the stoners and the film crew, including a cast of jocks and cheerleaders, must survive a night in a cemetery while being stalked by a machete wielding zombie.

When I randomly selected this film out of a stack of zombie movies, it was the luck of the draw. In this case - bad luck. Gravestoned is as stupid as the title would imply. The film starts out with two scantily clad young women speaking valley girl dialect searching for a pair of missing panties in a crypt. A strange glow beams from behind a creaky old door. They open it, scream, and the screen goes blank. There is little improvement from that point forward.

Let's start with the characters. We have a few asinine pot heads, a ridiculous movie director, and from there it gets worse. The rest of the characters are essentially the cast of the film they are supposed to be making. The male characters are a bunch of dim witted jocks, and the female characters are supposed to be cheerleaders. Neither group contains any likeable characters. The dialogue is poorly written, and poorly delivered. The acting is atrocious.

What about the monster? Well, it is supposed to be a zombie. I guess it is since it apparently starts out as a cadaver. Then, without explanation, it returns from the dead. But if it is looking for brains it is about to be sorely disappointed by this cast of characters. Anyhow, then it picks up a machete and starts using that to kill its victims. Apparently the director couldn't decide if this would be a slasher movie or a zombie movie so it became some unfortunate hybrid, neither aspect of which was effective.

The dim witted characters ultimately file one by one into a mysterious crypt only to be slaughtered, mostly off screen. The unfortunate thing is that some of the characters survived. If there is a sequel, I will not be watching it.

Gravestoned has been marketed as "a horror film for stoners". Presumably this movie is supposed to be more entertaining if you are stoned. But I wasn't, and I have serious doubts that it would have made a lot of difference. The reality is that this movie is a snore fest which attempts to rely on inane drug humour, objectification of young pretty women, and a fairly pathetic zombie in place of things like plot, suspense, character development, atmosphere, and scares. Stoner or not, my advice is to avoid this unfortunate production at all costs.

0 Scottish Terriers out of 5
Not rated: contains violence, language, drug content.

Zombiez (2005)

They Are Dying to Live

Josephine, a worker on what appears to be some sort of construction site, finds herself on the run from bloodthirsty, blade wielding, zombies. The fiends first overrun her workplace, attacking her co-workers and her dick-bag boss, then chase her as she frantically searches for her husband. Ultimately Josephine must fight off the zombies or become zombie chow.

I'd like to tell you more about the plot, but there isn't any more to tell. The film never explains why the zombies have become zombies, where they came from, why they want to eat people, or why they use weapons. The film just sort of starts, things happen, and it ends again. No back story, no real plot, no serious character development.

The "zombies" deserve some commentary. We know they are supposed to be zombies because the title of the film is Zombiez. Presumably the film makers felt that misspelling the title would make the film look cool, and "urban" to potential viewers. Regardless, the "zombies" look more like mentally ill cannibals, and they sound like pug dogs with emphysema. The don't look or act like they are undead, they just act like crazy people who want to eat other humans. And what is with the ridiculous sickles and meat cleavers they are using? They look like they are made of plastic and bought from a Halloween costume shop. In fact, I am certain that is exactly the case.

The acting and effects are no better. I won't say they are worse, although that would be an accomplishment in itself. Zombiez is one more to throw on the pile of utter garbage zombie films that have been getting pumped out right left and centre as of late in an attempt to capitalize on the resurgent popularity enjoyed by the undead. Avoid this one unless you have always wondered just how bad something really can be while still getting released on DVD.

0.5 plastic sickles out of 5
Rated R for violence/gore, language and some nudity

Nightmares in Red, White, and Blue: The Evolution of the American Horror Film (2009)

Nightmares in Red, White, and Blue explores the evolution of American horror cinema from the gothic monster films of the early 1900's, to the extremes of modern horror. The film features clips from many of the most influential and well known horror movies, as well as a few lesser known gems, plus interviews with some of the genres greatest directors.

What makes this documentary so valuable is not only its production values and its great interviews, but also that it doesn't just examine where the genre started and where it is today. It also tackles the more important question; why. Nightmares looks at the conditions in a given era that gave rise to the horror films of the day. The American Dream is counter-posed with the reality of the all-too-often American nightmare; war, violence, consumerism, excess, poverty, etc. We are then made to examine how that nightmare has been reflected consciously or subconsciously on film, forcing us to face its unpleasant realities.

In this sense, Nightmares is one of the most in depth, analytical, and fascinating documentaries on horror cinema I have yet seen. It leaves the viewer with plenty to think about, and a curiosity about where we are going next.

5 American nightmares out of 5
Unrated: contains violence/gore, frightening scenes, sexuality, nudity, language. 

The Last House on the Left (1972)

To avoid fainting, keep repeating: It's Only A Movie, It's Only A Movie, It's Only A Movie.

Mari and her friend Phyllis travel to a sketchy part of town for a concert on the eve of Mari's seventeenth birthday. They set out to find some weed on the way to the show. But to their great misfortune, they find themselves lured by the promise of Colombian grass into the hideout of escaped convicts Krug Stillo, and Fred "Weasel" Podowski, as well as their partner in crime Sadie and Krug's addict son, Junior.

The band of ingrates kidnap the girls and rape Phyllis. The next morning, they pile the young women in the trunk of their car with the intention of fleeing to Canada to escape the American authorities. But their car breaks down on the side of the road and they decide that it is time to dispose of their unwilling guests. Mari and Phyllis are raped, tortured, and murdered while incompetent police fail miserably to successfully track down the missing women.

Then the miscreants walk to a nearby house where they talk their way into a hot meal and a place to stay the night. What they don't initially realize is that they have taken refuge in the home of Mari's family, and her parents soon begin to piece together what has happened and prepare to give the killers their just deserts.

Last House on the Left was horror master Wes Craven's debut film as director. While not a particularly frightening film, it is undoubtedly gut wrenching, enraging, and difficult to view. For many people, the tag line may therefore hold true.

In particular, the scenes which span Mari and Phyllis' capture to their eventual demise take up much of the first half of the film and are particularly horrid and disturbing. They are clearly designed to horrify the audience and build feelings of hatred towards the films antagonists in order to prepare them for the bloodbath that is to come. They are highly effective in this regard.

The sickening scenes of violence, rape, and humiliation are interspersed needlessly with bad 70's rock and the slapstick hillbilly comedy of the bumbling police and a kooky chicken farmer. These distractions fail to weaken the films brutality or add effective comic relief, and could have been left out altogether.

Ultimately the bad guys get what they have coming to them, but it doesn't feel all that satisfying after what has happened, especially given that the girls are dead and vengeance won't change that fact for their parents, whose fate is left up in the air as well at the films closure.

The Last House on the Left has been frequently cited as one of the most controversial films of all time. It has been called depraved, obscene, and misogynistic amongst other things. There is no doubt that the acts depicted in the film are all of these things, but whether or not this also means that the film itself is must be another question.

It is true that the young women in The Last House on the Left are depicted in a manner that is far from liberating. They talk to each other about little more than boys and their breasts, and are only interested in partying. At the same time, it feels implied that their behaviour, namely going to a bad part of town, not wearing bras, drinking, and attempting to buy weed, led them to trouble. There is no explicit implication that this means what befalls them is their own fault, but it does highlight a common reactionary theme in horror films which seems to be that premarital sex and partying will put you on the wrong side of a bad guys machete.

So on the one hand, the villains are depicted as foul, despicable beings and their actions are depicted as cruel, grotesque, and wrong. At the same time, the young women are depicted as weak, shallow, victims. Even Mari's mother, during the revenge scenes, is only able to defeat her adversaries either using seduction, or by fighting Sadie, the female villain. Is the film purposefully misogynistic? Maybe not, but it is undoubtedly sexist in its depiction of women.

This film has often been compared to I Spit on Your Grave, which was released just a few years later. Both films are based on the rape/revenge premise. While Last House is even more gruesome and troubling in its violence, I Spit on Your Grave is perhaps more effective and positive.

For one thing, the protagonist in I Spit on Your Grave survives and obtains revenge against her attackers on her own. She is much less the helpless victim, and by the end of the film the viewer can feel a little less hollow than at the end of Last House. Regardless, this is a film that is not for the weak of heart, and is for those who want not necessarily to be scared, but certainly to be horrified.

2 chainsaws out of 5
Unrated: contains sexual content, nudity, violence, disturbing scenes, language, drug and alcohol content.

Exorcismus (2010)

Fifteen year old Emma begins to suffer from horrible fits of convulsions, and frightening visions. Her behaviour deteriorates and becomes violent. Tests and examinations fail to shed any light on the cause. When Emmma is sent to see a psychoanalyst, she has her cousin secretly record the session. But something terrible happens that Emma is unable to recall, and the doctor dies during the session. As the situation continues to spiral out of control, Emma listens to the recording of the session and begins to believe that she is possessed by the devil.

Her conservative parents refuse to believe her, instead believing she is just acting out or, thinking logically, that there must be some medical explanation. But Emma is convinced, and she seeks the help of her Uncle Christopher, a Priest, for an exorcism. Her parents are wary, particularly since a young boy died during one of Christopher's previous exorcisms.

But ultimately they are convinced and the exorcism begins, leading to a classic confrontation between good and evil which is fraught with plot twists and surprises.

Exorcismus has received mixed reviews and has been greeted with hopefulness by many horror fans. After all, it comes to us from the producers of [Rec], which was a major success and a highly effective horror film. At the same time, Exorcism movies will undoubtedly be compared to The Exorcist for time immemorial. In this case, the comparison is apt.

In both films, a female youth is possessed by a demon, or the devil. This leads to strange and violent behaviour, speaking in strange voices, levitating, and so forth. In both cases a priest is brought in to save the day. In both cases this is looked on with suspicion until the parent(s) see it for themselves. One could go on.

There are a few differences as well. In Exorcismus, the main possessed protagonist is not an innocent young girl, but a rebellious teenager, a young woman with a mind of her own whose rebellion against her controlling parents leads her to trouble. This takes something away from the effect of horror at the transformation from a total innocent into a monster. It also arguably sends a negative message to the viewer about blind obedience to authority.

The plot is also more complex, perhaps in an effort to stand out from the recent slew of exorcism themed films. But the jumping around and the attempts at shocking plot twists take away from what The Exorcist did so well. This film fails to build in intensity and horror as it progresses. Instead it chugs along at more or less the same pace and intensity until its conclusion. If nothing else, at least there is a clear reason why the devil would possess this young woman, but to say what it is would be a spoiler.

Much of the acting is will done. Sophie Vavasseur's performance as Emma was well performed overall. The same can be said of her parents (Richard Felix, Jo-Anne Stockham), the Priest (Stephen Billington), and her stunning cousin, Rose (Isamaya French).

Unfortunately the good performances fail to make up for the otherwise lacking film. Exorcismus just doesn't deliver on the scares and brings little new to a sub-genre of film that has been increasingly bombarded with new offerings in recent years.

2 levitations out of 5
Not rated: contains violence, frightening scenes, language.

Black Sheep (2006)

There are 40 million sheep in New Zealand... and they're pissed off!

Harry Olfield's calm and ordinary childhood as the son of a sheep farmer was met with tragedy when his father died in a freak accident. Fifteen years, and numerous sheep-phobia sessions later, Harry has returned to the family farm. But things have changed back home while he has been away. His greedy and selfish brother, Angus, is now running the show and is looking to buy Harry out.

But Harry soon finds out that Angus has more in mind than just simple, old fashioned sheep farming. Angus has found a more profitable business model; genetic engineering. Using human DNA he has created what he believes will be a superior sheep. But when animal rights activists accidentally unleash a mutant sheep foetus into the wild serious trouble starts to brew.

When I first started watching Black Sheep I was pretty sure it was going to be awfully baaad. Then it turned out not the be so baaad after all. Baaad. But seriously... Black Sheep is a slapstick gore-fest in the tradition of Peter Jackson's similarly New Zealand-esque splatter films; Bad Taste, and Dead Alive (aka Brain Dead). It comes off as pretty stupid at first glance. That's because it is. I mean, it IS a movie about rampaging sheep after all. At the same time, it's redeeming factors are in the fact that it is funny, it has something to say (kind of), and it successfully piles on the nasty gore and a couple of jumps for good measure.

The message of the movie seems clearly to be that genetically modifying animals and food is probably a poor idea. Fair enough. It hammers this point home with buckets of fake blood, vicious zombie livestock, and mutant sheep-people. On the other hand, it also takes the piss out of environmentalists and animal rights activists by unfairly depicting them all as irresponsible, obnoxious, hippies.

Unfortunately this almost obliterates the effectiveness of the films message by refusing to actually take a side on the types of actions that the film insinuates criticism of and depicting those who work against such actions in a negative and unbalanced light. Granted, this is largely for comedic effect and it is somewhat successful on that score. But as a result of all this Harry and his mother might be the only two characters in the film who are not thoroughly nauseating.

As mentioned previously, Black Sheep is not shy about the gore. It may not be as out there as some of the other "Dimension Extreme" films (the Feast trilogy comes to mind), it still has its fair share. This includes violence against humans as well as sheep, and creatures that are somewhere in between. Naturally animal abuse isn't cool and is generally looked down upon these days, so the violence against sheep is campy enough to ensure the viewer that it's not real. In fact, real sheep and what appear to be animatronic sheep are both used throughout the film at different times.

There's nothing to do in a movie about carnivorous mutant sheep that embrace the ridiculousness of the concept and run with it. That's exactly what Black Sheep does, and on that score it is an amusing and grisly success.

3 shears out of 5
Rated R for adult content, nudity, graphic language, graphic violence.

Super 8 (2011)

It Arrives

It's the summer of 1979 in a small Ohio town. A group of local teenagers are working on a super 8 zombie movie to submit to a local film festival. While filming they witness a horrific train derailment, but escape unharmed. When strange happenings start to take place across town in the wake of the crash the local Deputy, who is also the father of one of the teens, works to determine what is behind them.

But the real key to what is going on is in the hands of the teenagers themselves, and their super 8 camera, which captured footage of a creature escaping from the wreckage of the train. Now they have to stop the creature before it destroys everything and everyone in town. At the same time, they must reckon with their own group dynamics including family tragedies, rivalries, and falling in love.

Super 8 is named after Super 8mm film, which was originally released in 1965 by Eastman Kodak as an improvement on the existing 8mm film technology. Many a high school and college film effort were produced through the use of Super 8 film, including the early works of the likes of Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell.

Unfortunately this is neither a Sam Raimi, nor a Bruce Campbell film. No B movie magic here; this is a full on big budget Hollywood, family friendly, sci-fi drama complete with Steven Spielberg as director. Some have compared Super 8 to a mix between E.T. and Cloverfield. Without spilling the beans, this is a fair assessment. Yes, it has a big nasty alien, but it also has drama, a romantic sub plot, and a happily ever after finale.

Disclaimers aside, Super 8 is actually a good movie for what it is. It is well written, it has good acting all around, good effects, and mostly likeable characters. Super 8 won't blow your mind, but it is a well put together and fully watch-able film. Watch the credits for a worthwhile surprise as well.

3 train crashes out of 5
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi action and violence, language and some drug use

The Lair of the White Worm (1988)

Angus Flint, a Scottish archaeologist, discovers a strange animal skull in the ruins of an ancient covenant he is excavating. Shortly thereafter Angus meets Lord James D'Ampton, who has recently inherited his family's land nearby the excavation site. D'Ampton tells Angus of the D'Ampton worm, a huge snake-like monster which was slain by one of James D'Ampton's ancestors. Incidentally, the tale is also conveyed through a catchy folk-rock number just prior to this.

Meanwhile Lady Sylvia Marsh returns early to her nearby mansion, known as Temple House. Local townsfolk begin to disappear inexplicably, and the skull is mysteriously stolen from Angus's room. Then the watch of a missing person turns up in a cavern which, according to legend, was home to the D'Ampton worm.

Further investigation leads them to the chilling conclusion that the D'Ampton worm lives on, and that a murderous and sexually depraved worm-worshipping cult, which Lady Marsh seems to be connected to, is operating in the vicinity.

The Lair of the White Worm mixes horror, thriller, and bizarre eroticism into a truly unique cocktail. The film is an adaptation of a book by Bram Stoker. I can't speak to the quality of the adaptation as I haven't read the book. The film doesn't feature a bunch of big name actors, with the exception of Hugh Grant as James D'Ampton. But this doesn't have to mean the acting is horrid and actually, in this case, it is not.

The special effects are campy, but they actually work for the movie. Particularly the psychedelic hallucination scenes which feature a tawdry assortment of sex, violence, and blasphemy, are not striking in terms of the quality of effects but certainly get the message across without looking cheap. The white worm itself is also not bad even if it is a bit reminiscent of that monster that swallowed the Millennium Falcon in Star Wars V.

The demonic cult members are simple in terms of make up and costume, but again are effective and are employed in enough jump scenes and occasional gory demises to keep things interesting. The characters are generally capable of being rooted for, even if Grant's character is a slightly snobby Lord. Apparently class conflict between workers and aristocrats can be put side in times of giant monster related crisis, although I'm not sure that theory has had the opportunity to undergo scrutiny in a test environment. There is also a definite sexism underlying the protagonist characters as well in that the female ones ultimately end up in the position of helpless victim and it is left up to the men to save the day, an arrangement that is actually not the norm in the majority of horror films but is common in monster flicks.

Overall, The Lair of the White Worm is actually an enjoyable and well made films though best avoided by those easily offended by the defilement of religious icons or by weird sex and giant pointy dildos. Sorry, you will have to watch for an explanation of that one because I'm not really clear on it myself.

3 hallucinogenic vampire vomits out of 5
Rated R: contains violence, gore, sexuality, nudity, language.